Normality. What's normal? That's always the first question to someone who asks
if your normal. Well in my experience normal is two things. Firstly normal means
that you survive secondary school without getting your head kicked in every week
because as everyone knows bullies will admit to picking on kids who 'aren't
normal'. That's a good ground rule. Usually a beard at the age of 12 and carnal
knowledge of Paxman Valenta engines will see you hung by your underpants like a
sordid flag. The second thing, I suppose, is that old cliché, women. If your
normal, and no matter how ugly you maybe, there is a woman out there who will
have sex with you. Honestly. If however your reading this at the end of Reading
platform and your in your 50s and the only female contact you've ever had was
with the dinner lady at school unhooking your underpants from the flag pole,
then my friend I'm afraid to say your not normal. Sorry.
Why is liking trains such a disturbing connotation? I used to be scared to tell
a woman I'd met until well after we'd first slept together (yes sex, sometimes
even with the light on), and then what would happen? Would she run for her life
while stamping on your sound fitted blue Heljan 26? Would she hell she'll simply
say 'Ar that's cute, my Dad has a layout in his attic.' This will arise to other
problems but hey ho, in 9/10 circumstances they'll actually find it endearing.
That in no means certain readers of a young age should broadcast it across the
play ground in a vague attempt that a young female will drop to her knees. That
won't work, in fact refer to the above paragraph to see end results.
No matter what anyone says admitting to 'liking trains' will result in you
having the piss taken out of you by some quarters and when it settles down you
will forever become the timetable. You'll be the go to guy for all timetabling
needs, 'Oh Joe, what time is the train to Newquay Saturday?' and because your
that kind of guy, not only will you know the answer you'll also know the next 3
weekends of engineering works and associated bus diagrams.
There's often been a link between Aspergers and trains. Why? Well that's simple.
Trains are numbers, facts and figures and what do people with Aspergers like?
Numbers, fact and figures. So it attracts people who are known to everyone as
'train spotters' or in less affectionate terms 'stoats'. It's a by product and
something we have to live with. Hey they're untitled to like what they like,
even if some do smell a bit iffy.
Look at at these three who likes trains, Pete Waterman, Hermann Goering, Rod
Stewart. An interesting dinner party indeed, but it shows you the different
people who are into trains, you can never tell. You wouldn't know I was into
trains as the morning commuter special pulls in. You may be able to tell however
if a class 47 was to accidentally turn up on mk2Ds because I'd empty my bowels
on the platform and scream like a six year old girl on her first visit to
Disneyland Florida (not Paris as it's shit).
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