The industry's great Villian - Bob Crow

I once met Bob Crow and as you can imagine he is what you think he is (I.E. a c**t, the reason for the asterisks is some people find the word cunt offensive)

So what do we know about Bob the Gob?

He was born in Shadwell, is a lifelong Milwall supporter and earns around £145,000 a year.

Oh and he likes to call a strike or two.

Now Bob Crow is your kind of man who thinks he knows everything, and like a man who thinks he knows everything he in facts knows very little. In fact some might argue he knows fuck all.

The problem with the RMT, like most unions, is that while a great idea on paper and the members on the ground have a right to be protected. The unions are headed by utter, diabolical fuck nuts, who's selfish gruesome attitudes are only eclipsed by their pay packets.

If your to survive in a union hierarchy you have to be a certain man, and that type of man is Bob Crow. An everyday thug who people believe can bully the naysayers into more rest days and more extensive pay hikes.

Don't get us wrong, the railway deserves a decent union, it deserves the right to battle for it's rights.

What is doesn't deserve is Bob Crow & his cronies.

He ruins reputations and lives, the workers get nothing while he gets everything.

FIG 1. A Nasty 'orrible CUNT

Eastern Promise - Last Generation BR AC electrics to be sent to Romania.

It seems all but confirmed. Berlin has been asked, and judgement passed. DBS is to send it's class 90s to Romania, and in another shock twist some class 92s with them.

The numbers of withdrawn 90s is 15, and 17 withdrawn 92s. All in varying states of disrepair.

Class 90s are now 20 years of age and the 92s are coming in at 14 years old.

That's not bloody old, that's young. At WYTBT we're saddened by this news, as we are of the 60's demise. Not because we hanker like stoaty deviants over a past that could never excist again, but because of the utter waste and hopelessness that privatisation has wrecked across our beloved railway.

We want our railway ran by Railwayman, not by bus drivers, stationers, tie makers, and c**ts.

Class 50s in the borders. We know it happened, so just get over it.

We've decided at 'When you travel by train' to join the 'Did class 50s travel on the Waverley' debate.

With the answer that 'Yes they did - well at least once'

Railway Illustrated this month has also added speculation to the fact they did with a well thought out article on the Scottish wanderings of the EE's finest product. Personally we love the idea of D400 sitting outside Hawick chatting to the bobby so much so that our junior feature writer Bernard Matthews dreamt this little scenerio earlier, and then spat his tea out with such force we had to ask what had caused it.

"Picture the scene on the platform of Carlisle kingmoor on 28th December 1968, the gas lamps on the station shine through the mist but do little to illuminate the gloom. A lone class 50 sits idling in the centre road. In the distance we see the dim glow from the headcode box of a peak as it rumbles into the platform, apparently suffering a hot box hence it's late arrival from Leeds. The squeal of brakes precedes much activity as the peak is uncoupled and rumbles forward, to be replaced by the class 50, which lifts the heavy train out of the station easily, and, flanges screeching on the tight curve, swings round canal junction and into the night, powering away towards the hills and Edinburgh"

What the hell have they done to the coffee up here in Melton Mowbary?

Keith 'Lukewarm' Ludeman to retire

"Keith has made an outstanding contribution to the Group during the last fifteen years, having first established our London bus division, then going on to build up our highly successful rail business."

Now that snippet is taken from Go-Ahead [and fuck off]'s homepage. Keith has seen some huge changes at the company and has preceded over vast job cuts from the comfort of his own swimming pool.

We wish him (down a) well.

Replacing him is David Brown. Now David Brown might be familiar to some readers as the CE of the London Bus divison. So he's as well placed as any manager in the post privatised railway era to run a couple of railway companies.

People from bus backgrounds seemingly easily move into roles at high levels in the rail industry. Look at National Express, oh shit hang on...

Cab watch - Tranny or bird?

In this week's cab watch we wonder - tranny or bird? Answers on a postcard, the postcard must be standard postcard size (none of those comedy shaped shit ones) and have on it either a train or a bird with her breasts out. Ron asks for one's with 'big birds' on it, he doesn't mean eagles.

Eurostar to take on France - France's seemingly long history of surrendering doesn't seem to be sticking

Due to Eurostar liking semen. Oh shit sorry, lets start again.

Due to Eurostar's choice of train manufactuer for it's new e320 train's, the GERMAN company Siemens, the French government seem to be rather upset (The reason for GERMANY spelt with capitals, is simple, it's to show that the French hate the GERMANS more than anything in this world, apart from the British)

Christian Estrosi, France's Trade Minister, is so pissed off with the decision he's publicly come out (not like that for fucks sake) on radio to let France know he plans on fighting the decision and that the French government weren't spoken to on the subject. Eurostar have been quoted as shrugging they're soulders, mumbling something in French, running a hand through they're hair and smiling with such indifference no one remembered why they came to the press conference in the first place.

It also means that if a French railway company ever asks the French government if they 'can buy Germany' they'll be forced to watch a 56 minute DVD documentary on both world wars and then beaten over the head with a large leek until they mutter the words 'Alstom' and then they'll be released.

The '...When you travel by train' office - it's been busy since we launched the new blog - Here's Editor in Chief Ron 'Ronnie' Major